Why?
by Musa Rox
Summary: Lettuce questions her feelings for Ryou. What does she truly feel? A lot of anime references so if you haven't seen the anime it might get a little confusing.


Why?

Why do I love you so much?

Why is it… that when I'm around you… my heart beats so fast I think it will just burst with emotion? With nervousness, happiness, confusion, assurance that everything will be all right if your there… and something else. Something I can't put into words… the feeling is so strong. It feels… like I'm on fire. But not burning, just warm, like I'm glowing inside.

And why does my face gets so red that I'm afraid you'll look at me at think I'm some sort of weird tomato? And why do I smile even harder when you are near? Why do I become so self-conscious that I trip over nothing at all? And I become so afraid you'll hate me for breaking the beautiful dishes… that I break even more?

Why does my heart hurt when I see you talking to _her_? It feels… like my heart is shattering into a million pieces and only you can pick them up. It hurts so much when you are around her. I know you love her… but _I_ love you and _she_ loves Masaya.

Whenever you are in danger… I'm there to save you. Why does my heart stop and my head scream when I see you hurt? When I saw you in the water… just floating there, looking as if you were only sleeping under the waves… a part of me died. I thought you had truly left this world… left me. But when I kissed you there, underneath the water… everything became alright. It didn't matter what else was happening above the beautiful blueness. All that mattered was where our lips pressed together, hearing your strong heartbeat and feeling the warmth of your body against mine.

When we kissed… I felt as if I was being reborn in heaven. I felt happier and stronger than I had ever felt before. Even happier than I was when Ichigo said she would be my friend. Even stronger than I felt when I first transformed to help save the world. I felt… as though time itself stopped for us. Just for our kiss.

And when you closed up the shop, I saw you looking out the window… and you looked so lonely that I felt lonely too. I'm sure you were looking at Ichigo as she left to meet Masaya. Why can't you ever look at me like that? But when I saw you… I wanted, more than anything, to make you smile. That's all I want, and all I will ever want. To have you smile with true happiness.

And when the final battle came, I knew that I must save you. No matter what. Even if I got hurt, it didn't matter. As long as you were okay, as long as your beautiful blue eyes still held that spark of life and intelligence… I would be alright.

But… why is it that I feel like crying when I see your eyes? Those beautiful blue eyes… so full of pain and loneliness. I want those eyes to be full of joy and laughter… always. I want to kiss them and take away all of the pain. And… it may be selfish of me, but I want those eyes to look at me. They always seem to follow _her_. And I see that his eyes are filled with love. Why do those eyes watch _her_?!? And I not good enough for those blue eyes to look at me?

Yes… I know the answer. I am not good enough for him. I'm far too ugly, too clumsy, too nervous, too… everything. He would never love someone like me.

But… I know the answer to my questions now. Why I feel this way. What this strange, intoxicating, frightening, warm emotion is.

Love 

I love you

I love you Shirogane-San.

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How do ya like? I dedicate this oneshot to Ocean's Daughter! You go girl! And keep writing your Pudding/Taruto story! I wanna know what happens next!!!

This story is about Lettuce and her feelings for Ryou. It ahs a bunch of anime references… so you'd probably hafta now the anime to get what's happening in this! Manga fanatics can murder me and dice up my remains if they like… but I prefer the anime to the manga. It's very rare that that happens. And I _might_ just do a sequal about how Ryou feels about Lettuce! But it'll be ridiculously short like this is, so don't get your hopes up. But in order for that second-shot to come I need a little encouragement… so? What are you waiting for? Reviews PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!

Oh yeah. And this is meant to be read with a slow, sad voice in mind. No speeding up or anything. Sorry… but I read it out loud quickly… and it totally messed with the feel of the story. I usually return the favor of reviewing! (hint hint)


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